California Penal League 2015 - All-Star Break Edition

Welcome back for your "mid-season" review

All-Star Break Recap

I wish the All-Star break was closer to the midpoint of the season, which came and went like 2 weeks ago. All teams have played close to 90 games, with about 70 remaining. Either way, it's a good time to see how our league is doing.

Doug sits at the top of the standings, after outscoring the nearest competition by over 300 points. Looks like the regular season title is his to lose. A game behind Doug is Ralph, who has been the surprise at the top of the standings after a disappointing finish last season. It's not a coincidence that the top two teams also have made the most roster moves. Activity wins championships. Rounding up those with double digits wins are Pearse and myself. Pearse already played Doug twice, so he has the scheduling advantage in the race for 2nd place and the bye week. I've been bashing Allen for being lucky most of the year, but now he's actually unlucky that he isn't ranked higher, given the total points his team has scored to date. Losing 3 out of the last 5 against stiff competition (Doug, Ryan, myself) will do that to you. Finally, we have Ryan in 6th, who narrowly edges Bill for the coveted last playoff spot. The tie between Ryan and Shidler a few weeks back practically ensures that the points scored tiebreaker won't be necessary to decide the last playoff spot. A lot of baseball still to be played though, as 10 weeks remain and things can change in a heartbeat.

Reminder: Because of the ASB, the current matchup will last two weeks, until 7/26. Now on to the mid-season awards.

Mid-season Awards

The best of the best and the worst of the worst. Players bit by the injury bug are ranked accordingly.

Hitter of the Mid-Season - Paul Goldschmidt (Good Will Bunting): 4.1 pts/gm

Goldschmidt is aiming at a 30/30 season, having hit 21 HRs and stolen 16 bases already. The 70 RBI also leads the majors. Did you know that Allen owns the top 3 run-producers in the majors in Goldy, Machado, and Stanton? Too bad Stanton will be on the shelf for a while. Runner-ups: Harper (4.3 pts/gm), Trout (3.8 pts/gm).

Goat of the Mid-Season, Hitter Edition - Ian Desmond (Walker Texas Rangers): 1.8 pts/gm
Ian Desmond, you've been so awful, you're the only preseason top-25 hitter to be averaging less than 2.0 pts/game. Other hitters have scored less total points (Puig), but there's an injury excuse there. What's your excuse, Mr. Desmond? Runner-ups: Beltré (2.3 pts/gm), Canó (2.3 pts/gm).

Pitcher of the Mid-Season - Max Scherzer (AbsolutDomination): 19.1 pts/gm
Mad Max narrowly edges Chris Sale for this award. Even if we take away the bonus for the no-hitter, Scherzer has been 20 points total better than Sale. Scherzer's 19.1 pts/gm are a whole 1 point better than Sale's 18.1 pts/gm. Still, can't say enough about how great both these guys have been. A distant 3rd is Zack Greinke, by the way.

Goat of the Mid-Season, Pitcher Edition - Stephen Strasburg (Home Grown Hitters): 6.2 pts/gm
Strasburg has been hurt quite a bit this year, with a variety of ailments. But when he's actually played, he hasn't helped anybody. His 6.2 pts/gm are less than relievers like Craig Kimbrel (6.4), Mark Melancon (6.4), Greg Holland (6.9), etc, you know you aren't pitching well. Runner-ups: Teheran (8.5), Lester (9.8), Iwakuma (6.4). At least Lester got his first major league hit.

Surprising Hitter of the Mid-Season - Mark Teixeira (Home Grown Hitters): 3.6 pts/gm
Tex was so done last year that he went undrafted this season (O-rank: 259). That quickly changed after he started blasting HR after HR. He's up to 22 in the year, good to be the only hitter outside the preseason top 25 to be in the current top 25. Runner-ups: A-Rod, L. Cain, S. Vogt.

Actually, I just changed my mind. Stephen Vogt should get this award. 2nd among all catchers in total points, O-rank: 313. Screw the Yanks.

Surprising Pitcher of the Mid-Season - Dallas Keuchel (Good Will Bunting): 18.1 pts/gm

This one is definitely the most lopsided of all awards. Keuchel has been outstanding, ranking 4th among all pitchers in total points. For someone that Yahoo ranked outside the top 200, that's simply amazing. Runner-up: Carlos Martinez (14.7 pts/gm).

Week 15 Preview

#1 Doug vs. #9 Kagan:."Another one bites the dust...."
#2 Ralph vs. #5 Jon A.: One of two stellar two-week match-ups.
#3 Luis vs. #4 Pearse: And this would be stellar match-up #2.
#6 Ryan vs. #11 Kyle: Kyle's already thinking football season. Must-win for Ryan in his quest for 6th place.
#7 Bill vs. #10 Drew: Yawn.
#8 Jon S. vs. #12 Dugan: Can Dugan break Soltys' record for most losses in a season? What's the record anyway? The answer next week.

Enjoy Bastille Day tomorrow! 

California Penal League 2015 - Weeks 9/10 Review

Traveling for a conference last week, back this week with double the dose of fantasy baseball news!

Week 9-10 Recap

A tie! There was a tie! I hope everyone is taking snapshots, because for the first time in 32 weeks of regular season action, a matchup has ended without a winner. Heading into Sunday night, it looked like Walker Texas Rangers had it in the bag. All they needed was 2.5 points from Anthony Rizzo, Joey Votto, and Aroldis Chapman, right? Wrong! Rizzo (0/5, 2 K's) and Votto (2/5) combined for 2 points, sending both squads unhappy with a very unsatisfying draw.  The draw means that Ryan drops from 3rd to 5th, while Shidler drops another half game back from 6th place and the last playoff spot. We could look back at this matchup as the one that decided both of these teams' fate.

Elsewhere, in our pillow fight of the week, TonyClarkTime (3-7) beat The Duda Abides (1-9) 194 to 192. Needless to say, both of these teams would've lost to everyone else in the league. Shame of Dugan for losing to a team with two starters on the DL, two players short of a full roster, and Ian Desmond playing a prominent role (see below). Not to be outdone, Dugan boasts of two starters on the DL and a player on the DL that was activated a week ago. Then again, you wouldn't be paying attention either if your team was 1-9.

Allen continues to ride his good luck, somehow in 3rd place even though he is 6th in total points. Regression is a dish better served cold. Pearse sits in 4th place by literally the slimmest of margins (0.5 pts). At the bottom, Kyle is out of last place thanks to our newcomer Kris' horrendous performance. Shidler and Bill are on the edge of the playoff chase. Barring a miraculous run, the bottom 4 are virtually eliminated from playoff contention.

Awards

A little curveball this week. Awards for the last two weeks of play!

Hitter of the Week - Giancarlo Stanton (MVPuig/Good Will Bunting): 74.5 pts

The first blockbuster trade of the year saw Jon send power prospect Joey Gallo to Kyle for Giancarlo Stanton, he of the monster bombs. Stanton has been a one-man wrecking crew in the last couple of weeks, connecting 8 times for round-trippers, driving in 15 runs, and scoring 12 times, all of which lead the majors in this timespan. Hitting almost .400 is a nice bonus as well. Continue mashing, Mike.

Goat of the Week, Hitter Edition - Ian Desmond (TonyClarkTime): 6.5 pts
You know what's the insane part about Demsond's 6.5 pts over two weeks? That 10.5 of those came during the first 7 days. Desmond has been borderline atrocious the last week, striking out 13 times while going 1/21. That means that during the last week, he's struck out 59% of the time. That performance is worthy of being in Game of Thrones.

Pitcher of the Week - Chris Sale (Good Will Bunting): 73.5 pts
Nice balance between hitting and pitching has been achieved in this league. Just look at the performances of the top hitters and pitchers. Sale led the pack in the last 14 days, picking up 3 quality starts and a 2-1 record. An obscene 39 strikeouts in 21.2 IP is otherwordly. Sale has struck out more than 10 batters in 6 of his last 7 starts. How dare he strike out only 7 in 8 innings of one run ball against Cleveland on May 18th?

Goat of the Week, Pitcher Edition - Yordano Ventura (Schweddy Balls): -9 pts
The fireballer has been knocked around a bit, making it through only 6 IP in his last 2 starts. Only 6 ER were scored against him, as this could've been way worse. Way, way, worse. 2 losses is bad enough, though, as I'm sure Ralph will attest.

Surprising Hitter of the Week - Maikel Franco (FA): 53 pts
One of the few bright sports in the worst team in baseball. Franco hammered 4 long balls while hitting north of .400 over the last couple of weeks. Had a 10 game hitting streak snapped yesterday. The pedigree is there, full endorsement!

Surprising Pitcher of the Week - Jorge De La Rosa (FA): 55.5 pts

3 wins, 3 QS, 18 punch outs in 20 IP. What else could you ask for? Make the move! 10 walks though, proceed with caution.

Week 11 Preview

#1 Doug vs. #12 Dugan:.Oh no! Oh no! Run away! This is not safe.
#2 Ralph vs. #6 Luis: I need to start paying more attention to my team.
#3 Jon A. vs. #5 Ryan: Allen is the big favorite this week. I will keep touting him as the favorite until he loses. Then I will keep doing it.
#4 Pearse vs. #9 Kris: Pearse with the easy win. And a likely jump into 3rd place.
#7 Jon S. vs. #10 Drew: Drew's trying really hard. I promise.
#8 Bill vs. #11 Kyle: If the Gas House Gorillas are ever going to make a run, now is the time and this is the opponent.

Next week: Mid-season awards!!!!

California Penal League 2015 - Week 8 Review

End of semester vacation meant no posts. Hopefully back in a rhythm now!

Week 8 Recap

The dream is over. There will not be an undefeated H2H baseball champion this seasons, as Doug suffered his first loss of the year being AbsolutelyDominated by yours truly in a high-scoring affair. The AntarcticanAmericans produced a respectable 317 points, 5th most this week, but came nowhere close to the 354.5 points posted by their mighty opponents. The entire match-up was decided by one guy, who will be discussed in more detail in our next section.

Elsewhere, Ralph continued his hot start, dispatching Pearse by 30 pts. Met dandy Lucas Duda was the hero in this one. Schweddy Balls is now tied for 1st place, although a distant second in points scored. Good Will Bunting made quick work of MVPuig, as Kyle continues to embrace his new role as "Mike Soltys". Maybe it's a bad idea to have a guy suck in the DL as the namesake for your team and logo. This team's mojo is clearly disturbed. Meanwhile, Jon A. continues his lucky to ride his good luck, putting up big numbers against weaker competition. 3 teams below the standings have more points this year than his team. Regression is a cruel mistress, remember that.

Despite the loss to Ralph, Pease's Gas House Gorillas maintain a nice 5-3 record, tied for 4th in the league. We are beginning to see some clear separation between the top teams with winning records and the bottom feeders. Stuck in between is Jon Shidler's Wain's World at 4-4. Again, what's up with the team names after dead (baseball-speak) players? I guarantee Shidler and Kyle would have more than 5 combined wins if they had different team names.

In the bottom of the table we find Homegrown Hitters at 3-5, TonyClark Time and Limpy Noodlesy at 2-6, and The Duda Abides and MVPuig at 1-7. Ummmm, Dugan? Why is your team name "The Duda Abides" when you don't even have Lucas Duda in your team? I'm telling you, there's a correlation between number of losses and team names.

Now, let's recognize the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

Awards

Hitter of the Week - Josh @#$%^ Donaldson (AbsolutDomination): 55.5 pts

Wanna know how dominant Mr. Donaldson was? He scored 16 more points than the 3rd best hitter of the week (Goldschmidt). Only the hitters in this week's top 10 didn't get doubled up by Mr. Donaldson. Of course, 55.5 points don't happen all at once, but it certainly felt like it. On Tuesday, Monsieur Donaldson went 4/4 with 2 HR, 5 R, 4 RBI, and a walk, just because he can. The 21 points are the most by a hitter in a single game this year. Did I mention that the 2nd HR was of the walk-off variety?

Goat of the Week, Hitter Edition - The Artist Formerly Known as E5 (The Duda Abides): 0 pts
1/24 with no runs, no rbi's, no extra base hits, only 2 walks and 6 strikeouts. This is especially bad when you compare it to the guy I just finished raving about in the previous paragraph, who bats just ahead of him in the same lineup, facing the same pitching. Ooooof.

Pitcher of the Week - Carlos Martinez (AbsolutDomination): 42.5 pts
It was a considerably bad week for pitchers, as Martinez was the only one to crack the 35 point mark this week. Of the top 9 pitchers of the week, 4 are free agents, 2 are owned by Allen and 3 are in my team. And that doesn't even include stellar starts by Chris Sale (29.5 pts) and Max Scherzer (28.5 pts). These players belong to.... you guessed it! Good Will Bunting and AD.

Goat of the Week, Pitcher Edition - Julio Teheran (TonyClark Time): -6 pts
I hate doing this to my fellow Colombian, but Teheran has been brutal. In two starts this week, he got rocked by both the Giants and the Dodgers. Ok, fine, he didn't get rocked by the Giants, but getting a quality start for throwing 6 mediocre innings (3 ER, 4 Walks) is everything's that's wrong with the Quality Start stat.

Surprising Hitter of the Week - Joe Panik (FA): 32 pts
Joey P. bashed his way to a top 10 finish among hitters, thanks to his 8/27 with 2 homers and 7 ribbies. That double-play combo in San Fran is looking mighty good with Panik and fellow out-of-nowhere fantasy revelation Brandon Crawford. Panik! at the Disco. There's a good name for a winning team. Make the move!

Surprising Pitcher of the Week - Charlie Morton (FA): 33 pts

Morton made his first two starts of the season after beginning the year in the DL. He doesn't get a ton of swings and misses (5 K's in 14 IP) but the control is obviously there (1 BB). Numbers are a little bit inflated thanks to the 2 wins, but someone to keep an I on nonetheless.

Week 6 Preview

#1 Doug vs. #7 Jon S.: The Doug victory train looks to get back on track.
#2 Ralph vs. #10 Drew: I think we can say safely now that Ralph's team is for real.
#3 Jon S. vs. #9 TonyClark Time: When is your luck going to run out, Mr. Allen? Another easy matchup.
#4 Ryan vs. #5 Luis: Ryan is the Arsenal of this league. Always in 4th place. That ends this week.
#6 Pearse vs. #8 Bill: Pearse hasn't been this high in the standings during the month of June since the 1994 strike-shortened season.
#11 Dugan vs. #12 Kyle: Whenever #11 plays #12 in this league, I'm going to call it the "Battle for the Mike Soltys Memorial Trophy". Which obviously goes to the loser.

Stay safe, kids.

Giancarlo Stanton's Ridiculous HR of the Week - 05/13/15

It's been a while. But well worth the wait. Here's Giancarlo Stanton hitting one out of Dodger Stadium:

California Penal League 2015 - Week 5 Review

Back-to-back posts! I'm feeling a little bit like Bryce Harper. Now, if only he was in any of my teams... let's get right into it.

Week 5 Recap

The match-up of undefeated squads also doubled as the most exciting head-to-head battle of the week. Ralph's dreams of an undefeated season came to a screeching halt, as Doug squeezed by with a 10 pt win. Both teams played really well, surpassing the 300-pt mark. Ralph suffered a bit of bad luck, as he would've beaten every other team in the league except two; and he happened to play one of them. As for Doug, his dream of going unbeaten stays alive, with Michael Bradley and Mike Trout leading the way.

Switching to the very bottom of the standings, I'm happy to report that Drew got his first win! He handily dispatched a very disappointing Kyle. These teams now sit at 11th and 12th, among five (!!!) teams that are 1-4. Everybody would've beaten Kyle this week. I'm sure a team made out of all the players' mothers would've beaten Kyle last week. At least he listened to me and picked up Josh Reddick.

The nice stat where teams currently 1-12 would keep their position if we ranked them by total points is no longer valid. That's thanks to Jon A., who is somehow 4-1 despite having scored less than Pearse and I. A little like the Phillies and Brewers, if you ask me. Let's also remember that he's one Andrew Miller SNB save away from being 5-0. Can I borrow your horseshoe?

Now, let's recognize the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

Awards

Back to our weekly format!

Hitter of the Week - Torii Hunter (Good Will Bunting): 40 pts

Just kidding. Of course it's Bryce Harper (Walker Texas Rangers) and his absurd 51 points. 6 homers in 3 games. You already know about the 3-HR game. You also know about the walk-off HR the next day. Kid is absurd. He hit more HR's than had strikeouts this week. That's usually the recipe for POTW.

Goat of the Week, Hitter Edition - Adam Jones (Limp Noodles): 6.5 pts
Drew got his first win, but it wasn't because of his best player. The Oriole had a horrible week at the plate, with only 5 hits (4 singles and 1 double), no runs scored and one RBI. If Drew wants to win any more games, Jones is going to have to play a lot better than this.

Pitcher of the Week - Michael Pineda (Gas House Gorillas): 53.5 pts
Another Yankee pitcher earning an honor. By now, you should know about the 16 strikeout game. What you might not know is that Pineda threw 8 shutout innings against the Jays, one of the most powerful offenses in the AL, on Tuesday. The 30.5 pts from yesterday rank tops in the majors this year, but the 23 pts on Tuesday were pretty stellar too. Hattip to King Felix, his 2000th K, and his major league leading 139 pts.

Goat of the Week, Pitcher Edition - Stephen Strasburg (Home Grown Hitters): -4 pts
This one was hard... but when in doubt, negative points to win. Or lose. As much as I want to give Strasburg the benefit of the doubt because of his shoulder injury, negative points is still worst than not even playing. Honorable mention to David Price and Corey Kluber with their 0 and 0.5 points, respectively.

Surprising Hitter of the Week - Torii Hunter (Good Will Bunting): 40 pts
Ok, Torii, here's your award. Well deserved. It's shocking to me that he has a son in college and still racking up HR's and probably winning AL Player of the Week honors. Hattip to Marlon Byrd (37 pts) and Yasmani Grandal's 2-HR, 8-RBI game (23 pts, top this year for a hitter).

Surprising Pitcher of the Week - Wandy Rodriguez (FA): 40 pts

The curveball works again. Wandy retired 34 straight batters between the end of his 1st start and the beginning of his 2nd start. All in all, a stellar effort, despite not picking up the win yesterday against TB. He's your recommended add of the week, against struggling Cleveland on Friday.Honorary mention to Ryan Vogelsong and his 35.5 pts in two starts.

Week 6 Preview

#1 Doug vs. #3 Ryan: Another tough match-up for Doug in his quest for 22-0.
#2 Ralph vs. #8 Dugan: 4-1 vs. 1-4. I would say it's a must win for Dugan but with 4 other teams at 1-4, nothing is must win at this point.
#4 Jon A. vs. #6 Pearse: Our second match-up of teams with winning records. Pearse has 4 two-start pitchers, while Allen has 0. Let's see how this works out for them.
#5 Luis vs. #11 Kyle: Now you know why I was poking Kyle throughout this recap. Bring it on!!!
#7 Bill vs. #9 Jon S.: Bill coming off a big win and Shidler coming off a big loss. Teams going in different directions? We'll see.
#10 Kris Kringle vs. #12 Drew: C'mon Drew, it's time for win #2!  Jon Lester leading the way tonight against the Amazing Mets. Kagan, in the meantime, should change his name to Team Injured Reserve. Or at the very least get rid of Joel Peralta. Too early to not be paying attention.

Enjoy the week.

California Penal League 2015 - Week 4 Review

We're baaaaack. Now that I have successfully presented my Ph.D. proposal and my wife is away in Europe, I finally get some time to waste on writing a blog post that only 5 people are gonna read. But it's been too long so let's get right into it!

Week 4 Recap

As usual, we begin at the top of the standings, where 2 teams are still undefeated. Doug took care of business as usual, crushing Kagan by 60, while posting the highest score of the season so far. Kagan's 327.50 would've beaten everybody but two other teams, and sadly he played one of them. Unlucky. The other undefeated team is Ralph, who squeezed past Allen with the last out of the Sunday Night game. Andrew Miller was the hero, closing out the Yanks win and providing the winning points.This is the 34th time Allen has lost with the last out on Sunday night. Or at least it feels that way. All numbers approximate. 

Three other teams are currently above .500. The aforementioned Allen, who is probably spending way too much time looking at his fantasy teams with the way the Phillies are playing. You can say the same about me and the Brewers by the way. Sitting at 3-1 while my real team is in shambles. Craig Counsell is our new manager! Geez. But I digress.  The other 3-1 team is Ryan, who has been unspectacularly solid so far, despite losing to Pearse in Week 2.

Speaking of Pearse, he sits tight at 2-2, not having spent a single FAAB dollar yet. He is followed by five 1-3 teams, with a 178 point differential between #7 and #11. Dugan has looked the best out of that bunch so far, but they are two-games under .500 already. Bill has spend $22 in FAAB already, the most out of anybody, but doesn't seem to have found any solutions. At least he is trying.

Which brings us to Drew. Oh, Drew. The only winless team in the league, with the least amount of points scored, while spending exactly $0 in FAAB. With Soltys gone, Drew looked primed to take over his role as doormat and he has delivered in style. 242 points is the high mark for him so far this season. By comparison, Doug hasn't scored less than 300 points in any game this year. Losses by 102, 77, 41 and 38 at least show that he is closing the gap? I don't know, I'm struggling to find anything positive to say. Very unlucky so far, especially with two closers that have done nothing so far this year: Tyler Clippard and Addison Reed. On the bright side, he should get some decent value for Adam Jones and Justin Upton if/when he decides to sell. Soltys would've punted already. Pro tip: Josh Reddick and his 85.50 pts (tied for 23rd best hitter) are on the wire. Use some of that FAAB money, bro.

Teams currently ranked 1 through 12 will keep their exact same spots if we were to rank them based on points scored. So, no good or bad luck so far in the grand scheme of things. Expect this to change as we get into the dog days of summer.

Awards

This is a special edition of the Awards, covering the first month of the season. Next week, we will return to weekly awards.

Hitter of the Month - Nelson Cruz AntarcticanAmericans): 118 pts

13 home runs already, which has him on pace to break Bonds' record. We know that's not gonna happen, especially playing in Safeco. But for those who were worried that the power wasn't going to be there, well, you were wrong. Also leads the majors in RBI's with 25. Expect regression, obviously.

Goat of the Month, Hitter Edition - Carlos Gonzalez (MVPuig): 40 pts
CarGo just doesn't look right. His 39 points in 92 PA gives him a horrendous 0.424 pts/PA. The average is usually around 0.7-0.75. At least 7 of his 17 hits have gone for extra bases. We expect a lot more out of someone playing half his games at Coors and who isn't hurt. At least, not yet. Honorable mention to Victor Martinez, who hasn't hit a HR this year. And honorable mention to Ryan Braun as well, who was trying to run away with this award before hitting 3 HR's in 2 games this week. He still doesn't have a double, though.

Pitcher of the Month - Andrew Miller (Schweddy Balls): 107.50 pts
The new Yankees closer seems to have drank some Mariano juice. 13 IP, 10 saves (leads the majors), and 23 K's. Did I mention the 0.00 ERA? Dominant. The runner-up in this category is the closer for the cross-town rival Mets. Jeurys Familia has taken advantage of the injury to Bobby Parnell and the Jenrry Mejia suspension to tie for the MLB lead with 10 saves (+1 Hold!). Sonny Gray also gets a hat-tip, as he leads all starters in points (105). Overall, relievers have been amazing so far (4 of the top 8). But that's mostly due to starting pitching being sucky.

Goat of the Week, Pitcher Edition - Stephen Strasburg (Home Grown Hitters): 38 pts
Strasburg has not been very good. He hasn't been terrible either, but I'm sure Bill didn't pay top dollar to get 38 points out of him through 5 starts. Honorable mention to Chris Sale, Corey Kluber, Jon Lester, and Jordan Zimmermmann, I'm sure they will all figure it out. 

Biggest Surprise - Devon Travis (AbsolutDomination): 101 pts
Andrew Miller has been great, but he was placed in a position to rack up points. Devon Travis was ranked 1171 by Yahoo before the season. He was not expected to hit 7 home runs this year, much less in a month. That Toronto lineup is scary and I'm happy to report I own 4 of their hitters. I kinda wanna trade for The Artist Formerly Known as E5. Let's go Jays! Honorable mention to Stephen Vogt from Oakland, who leads all catchers with 91.50 pts.

Week 5 Preview

#1 Doug vs. #2 Ralph: It's a showdown between the two undefeated. Got my money on Doug, as usual.
#3 Luis vs. #11 Bill: Lorenzo Cain, who's been awesome, is suspended for Tuesday's game. Wonder if that will have an impact in the final score.
#4 Ryan vs. #9 Kagan: Another 3-1 vs 1-3 match-up. I want the league to be competitive and for Kagan to not lose faith. You can do this!
#5 Jon A. vs. #7 Dugan: Grudge match. Go out there and destroy each other, like Mayweather and Pacq.... oh wait... never mind.
#6 Pearse vs. #8 Jon S.: Todd Frazier, pride of Tom's River, NJ and little league world series hero vs. team injured reserve. 5 guys are hurt or not active in Shidler's roster.
#10 Kyle vs. #12 Drew: It's weird to see Kyle so far down the standings. Come on, Drew. Get that first win. Josh Reddick, man. 

I promise to keep the updates coming during the summer! Take care and enjoy the week!

California Penal League - 2014 Finals

Author's Note: Monday's scoring corrections are still pending. 

Finals Recap

#2 AbsolutDomination beats #1 The Duda Abides: 384.50 - 376.17
Ooooof! This one came down to the wire and it was reaaaaally close. Dugan was down big all week, but he had 5 starters on Sunday, making an improbable comeback sound not so impossible. The key to Dugan's comeback attempt laid within the NL Central Division race. The Reds. Johnny Cueto, and Aroldis Chapman needed to win (and pick up the save) against the Pirates, thereby making the Cardinals the division winners. Then, the Cardinals would scratch Wainwright and all their hitters, sending a AAA lineup and a bunch of crappy bullpen arms against Josh Collmenter and the Arizona Diamondbacks. And that is exactly what happened: Cueto went 8 strong, picked up the win, and Chapman cleared up for the save, striking out 3 in the process. Collmenter delivered on his part, pitching a gem: 8 IP, 1 ER, only 3 baserunners.

However, Arizona's offensive ineptitude costed Dugan dearly. Five St Louis relievers combined for the 2-hit shutout, giving Collmenter the incredibly tough 1-0 loss and costing Dugan the title. A really tough break, in what seemed like a foregone conclusion at around 4:30 pm ET. The clutch swing of the matchup, however, belonged to...

Finals MVP: Adrián González
A super-clutch 3-run HR in his last at-bat of the season proved to be the game-winner. El Titán homered in his last two games, reaching base safely in all 4 of his plate appearances and totaling 18 points despite exiting before the 5th inning in both contests.

3rd Place Match

#3 AntarcticanAmericans beats #5 Good Will Bunting: 390.83 - 373.50
Jon faced a similar situation as Dugan: down big with 5 pitchers left. However, this comeback was not meant to be either, as Jon's hitting abandoned him the last day: 3/18 with only 2.50 points. Doug had left the door open with some anti-clutch hitting of his own: 2/23 for 3 points. In the end, Zack Greinke's quality start and Zach Britton's save provided the winning margin.

Greinke wins the best player award for this matchup with 41.50 pts. Danny Duffy's -8 points in a must-win game for the Royals will haunt Jon throughout the offseason as the former champion finishes out of the money.

Final Standings

1. AbsolutDomination
2. The Duda Abides
3. AntarcticanAmericans
4. Good Will Bunting
5. Walker Texas Rangers
6. Schweddy Balls
7. Home Grown Hitters
8. MVPuig
9. Honey Nut Ichiros
10. Wain's World
11. Gas House Gorillas
12. Limp Noodles

Thanks to everyone for participating and staying active till the end. I'll be back later in the week to give season awards to the best and the worst.

California Penal League - Week 24 Review

And we are down to two! Last week of the baseball season!

Semifinals Recap

#1 The Duda Abides dispatches #5 Good Will Bunting: 360.83 to 309.83
The champion is no more! This year we will crown a new champion, after #1 seed Dugan had no trouble beating defending king-of-the-castle Jon A. by a comfortable margin. As has been the case all year, Dugan relied on a strong lineup composed of above-average hitters, highlighted by breakout player of the year candidate Corey Dickerson's 31 points. In the end, Dugan's batters contributed 190 points, versus only 125 for Jon's. Good Will Bunting's futility was exemplified by Nolan Arenado, who didn't play at all this week, and now has been shutdown for the remainder of the season with signs of pneumonia. You could say that Jon has coughed up the opportunity to repeat. See what I did there?

#2 AbsolutDomination crushes #3 AntarcticanAmericans: 406.67 to 327.33
For the second straight year, Doug came into the semifinals with the best team in the league on paper. for the second straight year, he'll be playing for 3rd place money. Carlos Gomez, knowing that he was playing against a Brewers fan, decided to only score 6 points. None of his pitchers scored more than 30 points, despite having two starters pitch twice. Meanwhile, Jake Arrieta threw an absolute gem, a one-hit, 13 K complete game shutout of the Reds... and Michael Cuddyer homered in three straight games, including a 17.5 point effort on Friday night. This one was never in doubt. I don't think Doug cares much about this because he won the 87-person football picks pool this week, which will cover up for what he might've made had he played in the finals. You win some, you lose some.

Skip this if you don't care about football, betting, or both. Doug went an absurd 13-2 against the spread yesterday, with the only losses being Houston at the Giants and Denver at Seattle. Now, I also had Denver in that game, getting 4.5 points in the Super Bowl rematch. How absurd was that final drive, though? Think about it... the only way Seattle can still win against the spread is if Denver converts the 2 points, they go to overtime, and Seattle scores a TD to win it. Which will only happen if they get the ball first, because they would totally settle for a FG if such a score wins the game. And that's exactly what happens. Where was Seattle's D in that final drive though? Denver ran that out-and-up play twice for like 168 yards and there was nobody within 15 yards of the receiver.

Finals Preview

#1 The Duda Abides vs. #2 AbsolutDomination:
Dugan dominated the regular season series, winning both matchups. He had 200 more points than me, has an absurd lineup, and FIVE two-start pitchers this week. Oh yeah, and my catcher has both strep throat and a kidney stone. So... how can I win? I don't know. It'll probably take a repeat of last week's hitting performance, which might be asking too much of a team that hadn't clicked all year. My team won't be hitting 10 home runs again.

Key Matchup:
D. Holland, J. Samardzija, and J. Peavy vs. W.Y. Chen.
What? What does that even mean, you might be asking... well, I made a roster move to pick up Peavy as a two-start pitcher and decided to go all-in on Monday. If I don't race to a significant lead today, I'm giving up on this matchup altogether. After today, Dugan has 11 projected starts to 7 of mine, and that doesn't account for the fact I already used one of my three roster moves.

Key Matchup #2:
Joey Bats vs. The Artist Formerly Known As E5
Only cause they are teammates and two of my favorite nicknames in all of sports... right up there with "He Hate Me" and Jake "Daylight come and you gotta" Delhomme.

Prediction:
Normally, I'm all about the reverse jinxes, even when I secretly believe I have a chance. This week, though, I am pretty sure that I'm not going to win. In fact, Dugan: where do you want me to mail the check for $525?

3rd Place Match

#3 AntarcticanAmericans vs. #5 Good Will Bunting:
Doug and Jon still have to play for $150. That's a pretty good night out, so still worth playing hard for. Not important enough for me to do a complete breakdown of the matchup. though. My money is on Doug in this one. Too much Miggy, too much Trout, too much Cruz, too much Brantley. His once amazing pitching is no more, though, and two-start weeks for Chris Sale and Felix Hernandez can swing this to Jon's side.

Actually, I'm changing my prediction just to jinx Jon... Allen wins it behind sterling efforts of his two aces.

Consolation Bracket

Ryan finishes in 5th place, after beating Ralph by a ton. Pearse has finished in 11th place, meaning that our newcomer Drew is now our Sack-o Drew. Go watch the League if you don't get that reference, you're missing out. Kyle and Bill play this week for 7th place and Mike and Jon S. play for 9th place... seriously, why even... anyway...

I'll be back next week to officially crown Dugan as champion and find out who finished in the money. See you then!

California Penal League - Week 23

Hey everyone! Look, baseball is still going on!!! I've watched exactly 0 innings since football season started, but that's going to have to change as we are down to the final four teams. Without further ado.

Quarterfinals Recap

#3 AntarcticanAmericans squeezes by #6 Schweddy Balls: 318.83 to 304.43
Our first quarterfinal was a tight one, as Doug sneaks by Ralph by a meager 14.4 points. In fact, it looked like Ralph might have a chance to take this one, but Hector Santiago's disastrous start at home against the Astros spelled his doom. Santiago only pitched 2 innings, enough to allow 10 baserunners to reach, 3 of them to score, and pick up the loss. Ralph only needed 10 points from this start, and instead got -10. Doug survives as sets up a classic matchup against Luis.

#5 Good Will Bunting upsets #4 Walker Texas Rangers: 345.33 to 310.50
Jon A. rides strong performances from Chris Sale (31 points) and Matt Holliday (31.50)  in a matchup that was never in doubt. A steady performance highlighted by 4 players scoring 30 or more points. As for Ryan, this is the second year in a row that he loses in the quarterfinal as the higher seed. Is some kind of trend developing here? Or is just pure coincidence? I guess we'll find out next year. Then again, Anthony Rizzo and Dustin Pedroia combined for -0.50 pts. Can't win when your two best hitters no-show.

Semifinals Preview

#1 The Duda Abides vs. #5 Good Will Bunting:
Dugan dominated the regular season series, winning both matchup, including that mythical Week 6 shellacking: 440 to 178. Our regular season champion relied on strong, power hitting from David Ortiz, a bounceback campaign from Ian Kinsler and a 20/20 season from Brian Dozier to lead the way. There's also Lucroy, Ryan Braun, The Artist Formerly Know as E5, and Hanley. This is a scary team when it comes to hitting. However, the MVP is one Mr. Johnny Cueto. The Reds ace has been just that, currently 3rd in total pitching points, only behind Cy Kershaw (Clayton Young?) and ...

... King Felix Hernandez. He of the 18-8 record with 225 strikeouts in 219 innings. He of the microscopic 0.92 WHIP. Let's just say this is definitely not that same GWB team that got walloped early this year. A resurgent Matt Holliday leads the way, and new addition Kennys Vargas has provided an offensive spark. The loss of Paul Goldschmidt earlier in the year is a big blow to GWB's aspirations, as he is replaced in the lineup by Casey McGehee (!!!). The strength of this team lies in the bullpen, where power arms Kenley Jansen and Craig Kimbrel dominated all year long. The recent Braves slump must worry Coach Allen, but a 6-game homestand against the Nats and Mets could do wonders for him. And don't forget about Felix's AL Cy Young competition, Chris Sale, his 1.99 ERA, and equally microscopic 0.92 WHIP.

Key Matchup:
Felix Hernandez (@LAA) against Johnny Cueto (@CHC, @STL?)
King Felix travels to Anaheim, where he owns the Angels. Meanwhile, Cueto faces Jake Arrieta Tuesday and could be in line for a Sunday start if given normal rest. This is the key to victory for both teams.

Prediction:
Dugan was unable to use the bye week to set up his starting rotation, deciding to wait until Monday morning to make 2 moves, meaning his down to only 1 left for the remainder of the week. If he had done those moves at any point last week, he could've had all 3 moves to work with. This may come back to haunt him, and what should've been a comfortable victory might turn into a huge upset. The Cubs clubber the Reds at Wrigley early in the week and Jon streams late to make the finals for the 2nd straight year.

#2 AbsolutDomination vs. #3 AntarcticanAmericans:
This are equally tight in the other side of the bracket, as myself and Doug will face-off with another final spot on the line. Doug dominated in the total points scored department, outpacing his nearest competitor by 400 points. His team was the only one to surpass the 8,000 point mark. However, some bad luck and poorly timed cold streaks left him in 3rd place. The season series finished 1-1, with me taking the first matchup and Doug getting revenge later in the year.

My team relies on Clayton Kershaw and Max Scherzer to provide the fireworks. Midseason acquisition Joey Bats provides the home runs, and Josh Donaldson the flair. I mean, look at that hair. Meanwhile, Doug's team relies on Miggy and Trout, that deadly 1-2 punch. Add Michael Brantley and Nelson Cruz to the mix, and AA boasts of having 4 of the top 10 hitters in points scored. The loss of Melky Cabrera, another top 25 hitter, will be huge as well.

Key Matchup:
H. Street, J. McGee, and D. Storen vs. F. Rodriguez, Z. Britton, M. Melancon. and G. Perkins
If one of the two teams can get a decisive edge in the closer battle, it'll go a long way in deciding who advances to the final.

Prediction:
Given the difference in talent between these two teams, as evidenced by the 500 point gap in points scored during the year, Doug is the clear favorite to advance. Anything else would be shocking. Expect some aggressive streaming from the two most active add/droppers of this league. Hopefully, this won't turn into a blowout but I just don't see how my team can compete, especially in hitting. If Scherzer struggles tonight in Minnesota, it's over before it even gets started.

Consolation Bracket

Oh and quick mention of our consolation bracket! Mike beat Pearse and Shidler beat Drew. Wait, what??? Mike won??? He's not going to finish last???? Nooooo!!!! What happened???

It'll be #7 Kyle vs #12 Mike and #8 Bill vs #10 Jon S. in the semifinals of the consolation bracket. Pearse and Drew will duke it out for 11th place, a.k.a the Sacko Bowl.

Come back next week to find out who'll play in the final (and who will play for the 3rd place money).... and who finished last!

Keep enjoying your football! How about them Irish.

California Penal League - Week 21 Review

I'm back from my wedding/honeymoon! Ready to discuss some baseball, before we all forget it exists because the NFL starts in 3 days.

Week 21 Recap

Congratulations to our Regular Season Champion, The Duda Abides. A vicious comeback against Kyle gave Dugan a most-deserved title. Johnny Cueto and Aroldis Chapman combined for the 2658th time this season to get the win/save. Technically, I can still catch him in W-L record, but the point difference is too large to overcome.

The battle for 2nd place (and the bye!) is still ongoing. Doug needs to beat Kyle and wait for Drew to beat me. Any other result and I finish 2nd.

Congratulations also to Allen, who now has that 5th seed all locked up. Since Ryan locked up the 4th seed a long time ago, we know for a fact that one of our playoff match-ups will be Walker Texas Rangers vs. Good Will Bunting.

The last playoff spot is the most interesting of all. Kyle is in pole position: win and he is in. The problem is that he's facing the highest scoring team in the league this year: Doug. Meanwhile, both Bill and Ralph are waiting for Kyle to lose to take over 6th. Bill has a 46 point lead over Ralph, which gives him a slight edge in the potential tiebreak. Ralph is playing Mike, while Bill is playing Jon A....

The last piece of congratulations go to Soltys, who has now clinched last place for the 2nd consecutive year. Well done, sir.

Playoff Scenario Summary

#1 Seed: Kevin D.
#2 Seed: Luis/Doug
#3 Seed: Doug/Luis

#4 Seed: Ryan
#5 Seed: Jon A.
#6 Seed: Kyle/Bill/Ralph

Week 22 Preview

#1 Dugan vs. #4 Kyle: Nothing to see here.

#2 Luis vs. #11 Drew: Luis win clinches the #2 seed.

#3 Doug vs. #6 Kyle: Must win for both teams. One to try and get the bye week. The other needs this one to make the playoffs.

#4 Jon A. vs. #7 Bill: Allen has nothing to play for. Bill can make the playoffs with a win.

#8 Ralph vs. #12 Mike: This is the opponent you want if you need a win to make the playoffs.

#9 Pearse vs. #10 Jon S.: Pillow-fight of the week.

Next week, come back to find out who made the playoffs. Also, I'll be giving out some Regular Season awards to the best and the worst of the fantasy baseball year.

Enjoy your football!

Giancarlo Stanton's Ridiculous HR of the Week - 08/11/14

Waaaaatch oooooout!!! Second of the game.

California Penal League - Week 18 Review

Last update for a couple of weeks because yours truly is getting married. And the future wifey probably won't appreciate it if I spend time writing blog posts about fantasy baseball. Don't worry though, I'll make sure to keep you updated of playoff scenarios, and the like.

Week 18 Recap

We have a new leader, as Dugan has taken over first place. Doug couldn't do much against Jon A., who exploded to the tune of 410 points. The loss drops him to 3rd place, a game behind Dugan and myself. Dugan gets 1st place based on his current advantage in total points.

Despite the loss, Ryan has secured a playoff spot thanks to Ralph's loss. Congrats! Virtually locked in into the #4 seed.

Allen's win, coupled with Kyle's victory and Ralph's loss, means that Kyle and Jon now have a two game lead for the final playoff spots. This battle will be key as one of these two will end up having to face the loser of the three-way battle at the very top. That's a matchup everyone would want to avoid.

Somehow, someway, nobody is eliminated from the playoffs. 4 games separate 5th place from 12th place, with 4 games remaining. Yet....

Mike and Drew showed that they belong in the basement, as they combined for less points this week than Allen scored on his own. Shame on you. Especially Mike. After finishing dead last the past season, he traded all his good players for potential keepers... and managed to finish last again. Terrible managing.

Playoff Outlook

With 4 games left, we can start looking at the teams battling for playoff position, and check to see how who has the toughest road left. I took each team's remaining schedule and assigned points based on current standings. For example, if you play the current #2 seed, that's 11 points to your SoS. If you play the #12 seed, that's 1 point. The larger the number, the tougher your schedule, the worst off you are. Without further ado:

Team	Week 19	Week 20	Week 21	Week 22	Total
Drew	12	6	10	11	39
Kyle	8	4	12	10	34
Jon S.	10	7	9	3	29
Dugan	2	10	7	9	28
Bill	6	11	1	8	26
Doug	4	12	2	7	25
Ryan	1	8	4	12	25
Jon A.	7	9	3	5	24
Pearse	11	1	8	4	24
Mike	9	3	5	6	23
Ralph	5	2	11	1	19
Luis	3	5	6	2	16

The maximum possible rating is 42. The minimum is 10, There are some really interesting things here, but let's focus on the outliers.

1) Ralph has a really good shot at making the playoffs!

Look at that SoS! The second lowest, with 3 easy matchups and 1 really hard one. He should go at least 3-1 and maybe even 4-0 if he can pull off the upset! Compare that with Kyle, who has the second toughest remaining slate, with games against Dugan and Doug to close out the season, as well as a matchup with Jon A. this week. This could get really interesting.

2) If I don't win the regular season, then it'd be a complete choke job. 

And I'll change my team name to AbsolutChokeJob, just like that time 2 years ago in the fantasy football league when I started 6-1 and missed the playoffs.

3) Mike, if you finish last, you are truly the worst fantasy player of all time.

Look at poor Drew's schedule. I feel so bad, I'm not even going to make fun of him.

Lucky or Unlucky?

Today's second special feature looks at how lucky or unlucky teams have been. We can do that by looking at their average points scored and average points allowed, and see how does measure up against the rest of the league.

Team	Pt Diff	O-Rank	D-Rank	Comment
Dugan	1028.84	2	1	Lucky!
Doug	886.33	1	7
Luis	572.3	3	5
Ryan	322.5	4	4
Kyle	19.67	8	2	Lucky!
Bill	-5.65	7	3
Jon A.	-66	5	9	Little Unlucky!
Jon S.	-255.35	9	6
Pearse	-430.01	10	8
Ralph	-521.48	6	12	Very Unlucky!
Drew	-720.83	11	11	Bad and Unlucky!
Mike	-830.32	12	10	Plain Bad!

Now, what we see here has some correlation to the schedule. It should normalize quite a bit by the end of the season, when everyone has played each other twice. We can still draw some conclusions:

• Dugan has allowed the least amount of points, meaning that he has benefited from some bad weeks by opponents. 
• Kyle is in a similar situation, having only the 8th most points scored, but sitting in 6th place thanks to some really lucky matchups (like winning with 275 points last week). 
• Ralph has been super unlucky, scoring the 6th most amount of points but just get walloped by everybody else.

Week 19 Preview

#1 Dugan vs. #11 Drew: Snowball's chance in hell.

#2 Luis vs. #10 Pearse: Nothing to see here.

#3 Doug vs. #9 Shidler: Have you seen Shide's team? DL United.

#4 Ryan vs. #12 Mike S.: The top 4 playing the bottom 4. Who would've thunk it? But that means that...

#5 Jon A. vs. #6 Kyle: Winner is one huge step closer to the playoffs.

#7 Ralph vs. #8 Bill: Winner stays alive. Loser goes home.

California Penal League - Week 17 Review

After a two-week break due to me being lazy, I'm back recapping some of the most interesting action of a fantasy baseball league in early August. Cut me some slack, don't have a ton to work with here.

Week 17 Recap

We begin at the top, where the top 3 teams won and clinched playoff spots. Congratulations to Doug, Dugan, and yours truly, who have secured a spot in the final 6 with 5 weeks to go. Doug dispatched Soltys effortlessly, Dugan crushed his buddy Jon A., and I won a pillow-fight against Kyle. At 13-4, it looks to be a tight race to the finish. I think I have the advantage in terms of remaining schedule, but I'm also 3rd in points. Doug and Dugan play each other Week 20, presumably for the regular season title.

Trailing not too far behind is Ryan at 12-5, although he's severely lacking in the points category. One more win and he will also clinch a playoff spot, while remaining in contention for one of the coveted bye spots.

The playoff race has two clear front-runners and a bunch of teams chasing after them. Both Jon A. and Kyle are tied for 5th place at 8-9 after losses to the top teams this past week. Trailing behind them is Ralph at 7-10, even though he has 115 more points than Kyle, meaning he would win that tiebreaker. A cluster of 6-11 teams still holds on to playoff hopes: Bill, Jon S. and Drew. These are probably sellers, not buyers.

Bringing up the rear are Pearse and Mike. Mike returns to his familiar 12th spot for the 2nd straight year. No takers for Tulo yet? No one is going to buy a busted car.

Awards

Hitter of the Week - Brett Gardner (AntarcticanAmericans): 48 pts
5 Home Runs! Five! I know most were in Texas, but still. He OWNS Darvish. Three doubles, three singles, and more walks than strikeouts. Insane.

Goat of the Week, Hitter Edition - Carlos Gonzalez (Formerly of AbsolutDomination, now of MVPuig): 1 pt
I'm tired of giving this award to Chris Davis (-0.50 pts) so let's try someone different. Come on up CarGo! 1/15 this week, with only 1 point. I traded him away for Yoenis Cespedes (before the trade to Boston) cause I got tired of his brittleness. What is it about Colorado sluggers (Tulo, Cuddy, CarGo) that makes them so brittle? Either way, enjoy Kyle!

Pitcher of the Week - Greg Holland (Schweddy Balls): 49 pts
Holland picked up 4 saves this week, only allowed 2 baserunners and struckout 6. That's good for the overall lead league in total points for Week 17.

By the way, let's address the issue brought up by Dugan about RP being worthless in this format...

- Did you know that 8 of the top 25 pitchers in total points are closers?
- Did you know that 2 of them actually started off as set-up men? Z. Britton (7 holds) and Melancon (14 holds).
- Did you know that 2 full-time set-up men are in the top 50 in total points for pitchers? Belances (17 holds, 98 K's) and Tony Watson (25 holds).

Bottom line, if we reduce the points / IP by 0.5, then the top 50 are going to be all relievers and a few elite starters. So we need to adjust accordingly.

Goat of the Week, Pitcher Edition - C.J. Wilson (Schweddy Balls): -10.33 pts
Wilson only lasted 1 1/3 innings against the Rays. He got tagged for 6 hits and 6 runs, striking out 2. Picked up the loss. Honorable mention to Adam Wainwright, who got abused by my Brew Crew to the tune of 7 earned in 5 and a third.

Week 18 Preview

#1 Doug vs. #5 Jon A.: Allen probably didn't have a chance before Goldy got hurt. Now, he's gonna get owned.
#2 Dugan vs. #9 Jon S.: The Jons are not going to have a good week. Time to sell, Shide.
#3 Luis vs. #4 Ryan: Matchup of the week. I need this to keep pace with the leaders. Ryan needs the win to clinch a playoff spot and have any hope of finishing in the top 2.
#6 Kyle vs. #12 Mike S.: Golden opportunity for Kyle to take sole possession of 5th and avoid one of the Big 3 in the playoffs.
#7 Ralph vs. #11 Pearse: Ralph could take over one of the playoff spots if a series of results (and points) go his way.
#8 Bill vs. #10 Drew: Pillowfight of the Week!!!! Sell! Sell! Sell!

Have a happy "football is back, even if it's preseason" week!

World Cup 2014 - Semifinals Preview: Argentina vs. The Netherlands

The only way the Argentina vs. the Netherlands game even compares to what we witnessed yesterday: Messi and Robben brawl it out, hockey-style. I got Messi as a favorite because Robben will probably dive the moment Messi swings at him. Anyway...

Your Mandatory "No love lost between these two teams" Video

The 1978 final would've been a solid choice, but these two teams have met more recently than that. We go back to 1998, when Argentina and the Netherlands met in the Quarterfinals. The final score was 2-1 to the Dutch, and it gave us a sublime moment of skill.

Uniforms

Argentina's albiceleste vs. the Netherlands' oranje. This is as good as it gets when talking about soccer jerseys. The advantage goes to the Dutch, only because Adidas screwed up the shorts, going with white instead of the classic black. Else, it would've been a tie.

Three Burning Questions

1. Who replaces Angel di Maria's endless running?

Sadly, nobody. Di Maria was a unique player in this system, very similar to what Neymar gave Brazil. The difference here is that Argentina still has Messi and Higuain. Brazil had Fred and Hulk. Ugh.

2. Will Robben turn right?

No. He's the left-handed version of Derek Zoolander. Dude always cuts left. Always.

3. How many goals will the Dutch score in counterattacks after Argentina loses possession?

The over/under is 2.5, and I think it's over. I'm dead serious. Argentina is going to dominate possession, Dutch defenders are going to swarm Messi, and eventually they will win the ball back and boot it forward where Robben is going to outrace DeMichelis and Mascherano, a.k.a. Slow and Slower.

Argentina will win if...
... Messi scores a hattrick, because I don't think a brace is going to be enough.

The Netherlands will win if...
... they don't screw up. They are the clear favorites and Argentina's style suits them to perfection.

The Final Score
Argentina 1 - The Netherlands 3. I think this is another case of the South American team getting all emotional at the beginning, then getting hit with European indifference. The Netherlands score early, counterattack late, Messi gets a meaningless goal at the end, and a 1974 final rematch is setup.

World Cup 2014 - Semifinals Preview: Brazil vs. Germany

And we're down to our Final Four! All of them are heavyweights, and all of them have a legit change of winning.

Up first we have Brazil... the host, the penta-champion, the scratch, la canarinha, la verde-amarela... facing off against Germany, Die Mannschaft, DAS UBER FUßBALL MACHINEN. This is the Germans' 4th straight semifinals after finishing 2nd, 3rd, and 3rd in the last 3 World Cups. Unbelievable... and then you remember West Germany made 3 straight finals: '82, '86, and '90. Incredible. Tune in at 4 pm Eastern for this Goliath vs. Goliath match-up, live from Belo Horizonte (ESPN in the US).

Your Mandatory "No love lost between these two teams" Video

Shockingly, Brazil and Germany have only played each other once at the World Cup. The scenario was the 2002 Final in Yokohama, and it doubled as the crowning moment for one Ronaldo Luíz Nazário de Lima. Enjoy!

Uniforms

I'd rather see the blue shorts or blue socks, instead of this year's all-white version. Germany's away jerseys are an atrocity. Decided advantage, verde-amarela.

Three Burning Questions

1. Neymar is out. Yeah. :( Who will step up and fill the massive hole?

The natural choice to replace injured star Neymar in the Starting XI is amazingly-named Chelsea winger Willian. However, the creative responsibility will fall squarely on the shoulders of another Chelsea player: Oscar. The task for Germany is pretty simple: cut-off Oscar from the run of play and watch as Hulk, Willian, and Fred run around like chickens with their heads cut-off. In Fred's case, I'm pretty sure he didn't have a head to begin with. He's awful.

2. Will Klose dare break Ronaldo's scoring record in Brazilian soil?

Sadly, I think the answer is no. The German attack did not play with the same coherence and intensity that characterizes them in the match against France. I expect Gotze to be back in the lineup, with Müller moving to the center-forward position. The rest of the line-up should remain unchanged from the team that professionally dispatched la France. Klose will only get his chance if Germany is down late and they decide to bomb the Brazilian penalty area with crosses. Schürrle is the preferred substitute option anyway.

3. What will be stronger? Brazilian emotion or Germany's apathetic approach?

Normally, I'd say that the key to beat Brazil is to prevent them from scoring in the first 20 minutes. They really feed off the emotion of the crowd. We saw what happened in the quarterfinals against Colombia. However, if there's a team that is equipped to survive an early Brazilian strike is this German team. They've seen it all. They will not panic and they will find a way.

Brazil will win if...
... Fred scores. Because if Fred scores, you know that things are DEFINITELY going Brazil's way.

Germany will win if...
... the match is played. After all, "Football is a simple game. 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win."

The Final Score
Brazil 1 (4) - Germany 1 (3). Because it couldn't be any other way. Not only do Brazil reach the final of their own tournament, but they do it while beating the Germans at what they do best, penalty kicks. By the way, I think Brazil scores early (that clown Fred will probably use his knee or something) and Germany ties it late.

California Penal League - Week 14 Review

Welcome back! This is your weekly fantasy baseball newsletter, featuring highlights and lowlights, upsets and beatdowns, flames and lames. Let's start with the two exciting match-ups decided on Sunday night.

Week 14 Recap

We start with the upset of the week, where Bill took down (former) league leader Doug despite Doug's late rally. Down 5 points heading into Sunday Night, Doug had Miguel Cabrera while Bill had Joe Nathan left. Cabrera couldn't deliver, as David Price and the Rays limited him to a sac fly in 4 at-bats. Nathan would add insult upon injury by coming in and adding 3 unneeded points. Bill, who once upon a time was 0-5, takes down the favorite and moves to 6-8, tied for 5th.

Another incredible match-up decided on Sunday Night featured Kyle's comeback against poor Pearse. Now, this is when things get interesting because Kyle had no players left going into Sunday night. Remember this fact: Kyle had no one left who could score points! Meanwhile Pearse had Rick Porcello and a 1 point lead! Bench Porcello and you have win... Start Porcello, lose 4.67 points, and now you're 2-12. Wow. Let this be a lesson to everybody: there's no such thing as over-managing your team.

We had one more upset, as Ralph beats Dugan to remain in the coveted 6th and last playoff spot. Dugan misses an opportunity to cut Doug's lead in the race for the bye week. Jon A. beat Mike in the 5-8 teams match-up. We reached to Mr. Mike for comments this morning: "I'm getting close to throwing in the towel", he said, so there you have it. Jon A. remains in 5th place. Ryan had no trouble destroying Drew and I did the same with Jon S.

Now let's hand out some fake silverware...

Awards

Hitter of the Week - Jayson Werth (Home Grown Hitters): 39 pts
Low scoring week for hitters overall, as Werth takes home weekly honors. 3 home runs, 2 steals, 2 walks and 2 strikeouts. They key, as always, try not to strikeout too much.

Goat of the Week, Hitter Edition - Chris Davis (Honey Nut Ichiros): -0.50 pts
I hate to pick on a single player week after week, but The Artist Formerly Known as Crush Davis was awful again. 2/23 with a single ribby and 11 strikeouts. Awful.

Pitcher of the Week - Garrett Richards (AbsolutDomination): 56.67 pts
Richards let all MLB pitchers in strikeouts this week with 20, punching out 9 Pale Sox and 11 'stros in his two starts. Only 11 baserunners allowed in 15.1 innings, while averaging a 97.3 MPH fastball. Kid's good.

Goat of the Week, Pitcher Edition - Kyle Gibson (Honey Nut Ichiros): -9.50 pts
Gibson got rocked by the Yankees, giving up 6 runs (5 earned) in 2 innings of work. Zero strikeouts didn't help matters. I promise it is not "Pick on Mike" week. Nobody else was this atrocious.

Week 15 Preview

#1 Luis vs. #3 Dugan: Matchup of the Week. Dugan has the upper hand based on number of pitchers with 2-game starts this week.
#2 Doug vs. #6 Ralph: Will Ralph make it two upsets in a row? Or will Doug right the ship?
#4 Ryan vs. #12 Pearse: Ryan is the forgotten man in the race for the top. He's currently on two games out of 1st place and 4 games ahead of 5th place.
#5 Jon A. vs. #11 Drew: If Drew wins, these two teams will be tied again. Crazy.
#7 Bill vs. #8 Kyle: Huge matchup in the playoff race. Neither team can afford to lose.
#9 Jon S. vs. #10 Mike: Pillowfight of the Week!!!!

Enjoy your last week of baseball before the All-Star Break!

World Cup 2014 - Quarterfinals Preview: Argentina vs. Belgium

What was supposed to be a great display of attacking football turned out to be a great display of how to attack footballers. My bitterness with the Spanish ref will continue. Meanwhile, there's two more semifinal spots up for grabs. First up, it's Argentina and Belgium in Brasilia, at noon Eastern Time.

Your Mandatory "No love lost between these two teams" Video

The last time Belgium made the Semifinals of the World Cup, they got Maradona'd. I'm sure they don't want to get Messi'd this time around.

Uniforms

Another of Adidas' ridiculousness. An Argentinian team in all white looks so unnatural. Belgium, on the other hand, look mighty sharp in their red uniforms. Advantage, Red Devils.

Three Burning Questions

1. Can Axel Witsel handle Lionel Messi?

This Belgium team is like an upgraded version of Switzerland. They are very physical, organized, and have an excellent GK and back four. The key matchup, though, will be Axel Witsel vs. Lionel Messi. Normally, it takes more than one player to control Messi. However, the Zenit St. Petersburg man might be tasked with stopping "the Flea" all on his own. At the very least, he already won the hair competition.

2. Will Lukaku make an impact in the game?

One of the main reasons why Belgium is in the quarterfinals is the inspired play of Romelu Lukaku, who came into the Round of 16 match against the USA at the beginning of extra-time . His powerful run created the first goal, while adding a 2nd a few minutes later. However, don't be surprised if Belgium manager Marc Wilmots elects to start teenager Origi again and let Lukaku run at tired defenders in the 2nd half. We will definitely see the Chelsea/Everton man at some point.

3. Will Gonzalo Higuain do something productive? Anything at all?

We know Messi can't do it all on it's own. Argentina knows it too. The loss of Sergio "Kun" Aguero was a devastating blow to a team that has not being able to jell up front. Argentina has scored 7 goals at this World Cup, split up like this: 4 by Messi, an own goal, a Marcos Rojo goal on a corner-kick, and di Maria's well taken shot at the end of the Switzerland match... after an amazing run by Messi. Higuain needs to show up. The Napoli striker has been MIA so far and Argentina needs him to score if they hope to make the Semis, much less win the whole thing.

Argentina will win if...
... they score first. Once they have a goal, Belgium will open up and the space will be there for Messi and Angel di Maria to make their trademark lightning runs. A quick 2nd goal would then follow.

Belgium will win if...
... the score is 0-0 after 60 minutes. Argentina will grow more and more desperate as their attacks get stuffed by a very good Belgian defense. This is the time when Hazard & Co. capitalize on a quick counter.

The Final Score
Argentina 0 - Belgium 1. This is the end of the road for Messi & Co. Switzerland was not able to capitalize on the weaknesses Argentina showed at the back, but Belgium definitely have the firepower to do so and will do so. Expect Axel Witsel to chase Messi around, not letting him breath. An Eden Hazard goal wins it for the Red Devils. Fellaini's afro lives to fight another day.